


Ways to Say Goodbye (and Instead Saying Nothing At All)

by Shoujo_Nosferatu



Category: Mother 2: Gyiyg no Gyakushuu | EarthBound
Genre: Angst, Gen, Growing Apart, Growing Up, I FREAKING GUESS, M/M, OH ALSO WARNING FOR MEAN HOMOPHOBIC REMARKS FROM POKEY, Post-Game, Sometimes Things Don't Work Out the Way You Want Them to but They Still Turn Out Okay, You Make New Friends and You Move On, or ness's memory of pokey, sorry - Freeform, this is my version of a fix-it okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 20:05:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7654822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shoujo_Nosferatu/pseuds/Shoujo_Nosferatu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of encounters between Ness and Jeff's friend Tony, as Tony and Jeff begin to drift apart over the course of the fight against Giygas. Tony, after building so much of his own identity around his connection with Jeff, learns to understand himself, and let go, and move on. And he finds there are still friends waiting for him outside his dorm room door.</p>
<p>Sometimes you grow up and people change, and the friend who was the world to you stops returning your calls. It's not really anybody's fault. It's just the way things go. And I know it hurts, kid. But you'll be okay. I promise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ways to Say Goodbye (and Instead Saying Nothing At All)

**Author's Note:**

> (A.K.A "Jeff and Tony Bullshit." here's a thing I've been working at off-and-on for like a year that I need to just, get rid of,, so i'm sorry about any remaining grammar problems or tense-changes lol. anyway there's no jeff/tony fluff here whatsoever sorry. I don't wanna step on anybody's ships, I LIKE THIS SHIP, I JUST. ugh. I just wanted to share my piece. Tony as a character means a whole lot to me. For the record, I don't think Jeff's a bad kid. I think he's a great kid who doesn't know how to handle certain social predicaments and is liable to mess 'em right up. That's alright. That's part of growing up.)

Jeff didn’t go back to Snow Wood like Ness thought he might. He seemed so excited to finally have his dad talking to him and wanting to work with him and—not to mention just happy they were all alive—and Ness couldn’t blame him. He knew that, if it were his dad, he’d probably do the same. And his dad at least calls him now and again. 

It’s harder for Ness to figure why _he_ decided to go to Snow Wood. After he dropped Paula off at the Polestar Preschool he thought he would go straight home to his mom, but when he saw everybody in Twoson—Paula’s parents and all the kids swarming around her, hugging her and crying and smiling and all—he couldn’t help thinking about the other people they met. The people Paula said had prayed for them when they were almost lost. The people who won’t have someone coming back home to them. He thinks about Prince Pu sitting proud under the weight of his great palace. He thinks about Aloysius Minch, and realizes that none of them had seen or heard from him since they left Fourside. He thinks about Everdread. He thinks about Lucky, and Gorgeous, and the rest of the Runaway Five. He thinks about Pokey’s little brother, all alone in that big house. And he thinks about what happened in Snow Wood, and about Jeff’s friend Tony. And with a sudden blazing impulse (the way most of Ness’s stories start) he turns and breaks out into a run, and his feet tear across the burning pavement so fast that they rip through time and space beneath him and when he finally stops the snow is up to his ankles and is seeping into his socks.

He bursts into a moment just outside the boarding school gates and immediately he sees that Jeff’s friend Tony is right there too. He’s leaned up against the stone wall, and he’s staring at Ness with wide, dark eyes. Tony tucks an envelope discreetly into his jacket pocket and keeps those eyes on him, confused and surprised and, Ness supposes, maybe a little disappointed. His friend Jeff isn’t trailing at Ness’s back this time, and Tony looks like he’s been waiting here for a little while yet.

An older kid grabs his attention—Maxwell, Ness recognizes him, the guy who told them about the kidnapping when they were here last—smiling as he tells Ness that Jeff had just called to let them all know that he was okay and that he was going to be staying with Dr. Andonuts for “an indeterminate period.” (Probably withdrawing from school altogether, Maxwell seems to imply, shrugging with a good-natured laugh that Jeff probably didn’t have much to learn up here anyway.) Ness smiles back and thanks him, and tries to be as glad as Maxwell despite the way Tony shuffles within earshot, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jacket and frowning down at his shoes buried in the snow drift.

Ness considers maybe just leaving, right then—Tony’s probably not super happy to see him, he figures, and anyway, he knows that Snow Wood is alright now and that Jeff will be missed—but. He sighs, and continues to hover by the gates. 

He watches Tony. The other boy is now pointedly ignoring him, feigning interest in the falling snow. Ness wonders idly how he can insist on wearing shorts in this weather, as his own teeth are near chattering and his ears are turning pink. He takes a deep breath, steady, pushing through the cold. In the same day as this, he’s faced a nightmare beyond his own will to remember and saved the whole world from chaos. (And how weird is that, _how weird is that,_ that that was just _today._ ) So, he supposes, there’s nothing he can’t face now.

Ness approaches, forcing Tony to look up and acknowledge him. The boy wears a hard-eyed stare that Ness doesn’t know how to respond to. Another pause passes between them. Ness shuffles, trying not to shiver, and just when he thinks to open his mouth to say “hi”—

“Jeff doesn’t call me.” The statement drops from Tony without ceremony, quiet and sharp. Ness swallows, only able to frown in reply. Tony goes on, his eyes drifting away. “Maybe he thinks I’m too annoying.”

There’s a pointed silence. Ness’s mouth is open but his mind is blank. Whatever he had expected, it wasn’t this. Tony adds, quietly—and sadly, Ness thinks, “But I don’t think that’s it.”

He wants to say “I’m sorry” but it seems so cheap, coming from him. The boy it should be coming from isn’t there, right now.

“Did you tell him not to call me?” Ness blinks as Tony faces him again, and he’s stunned by the accusatory tone. All he can do is stammer and shake his head.

“No.” Tony says, cutting him off before he can even get his words out right. “No, I know you wouldn’t do that.”

Tony is quiet for a moment then. Ness watches as his eyes flicker, turning something over in his mind. Feeling lost and, for once, useless, Ness keeps his mouth shut and tries to look less confused and more attentive. Listen, that’s what Paula told him once. Sometimes the best you can do for somebody is just to listen to them.

Eventually Tony slips his hand out of his pocket, and with it the envelope he’d been hiding before. It’s small and plain, and Jeff’s name is written across it in black marker. He stares at it a moment. Then he looks up at Ness, and offers it. 

“Here.” he says, finally, the letter like a begrudging olive branch. His voice has lost some of its edge, and there’s a sad but hopeful softness to it. “When you see Jeff, could you give this to him?”

Ness nods his head dutifully, taking the envelope into both hands.

“Tell him it’s from me.” Tony adds, needlessly. Ness nods again, and says the first thing he could think of since the conversation started.

“Okay.”

“And tell him to call me, please?” Tony sounds small, then. Ness pretends he doesn’t hear it.

“I will.” he says, and he means that.

Tony sighs, slumping against the wall, as if something all balled up inside of him had just been released. But to Ness’s mind, he still doesn’t seem happy.

“Thanks.” he says, and tries to smile. Ness makes an attempt in return. With that the boy turns, pushing open the gate to Snow Wood and disappearing behind the wall.

* * *

It wasn’t the first time they had met, of course. Deep deep down in the Stonehenge Base of the Starmen, Ness surveyed the room full of rescues and watched as another boy his age came splashing through the glowing green liquid that now lay in puddles across the lab floor away, away from the pod that had held him and right up to Ness’s friend Jeff. Their uniforms matched.

Must be Tony, Ness thought. The boy Maxwell talked about. The boy from the phonecall. He approached them both with a smile.

Despite now being free from danger Tony was panting and wild-eyed. He turned to Ness with an open smile and yet held his stare and simply breathed, for an instant.

“Hi,” he said, politely extending his hand. “I’m Tony.”

“I’m Ness,” Ness replied in turn, taking the outstretched hand. They shook.

“I’m Jeff’s best friend,” Tony added, fixing Ness with his eyes. “I’ve known him for the longest.”

Ness hadn’t been sure how to reply, so he simply nodded and relaxed his grip. Tony released him. He didn’t say much else to Ness after that, concerning himself again with his schoolmate, and Ness slipped away from the two of them seemingly without notice. 

Ness left the encounter feeling as if something had transpired that he didn’t quite catch, though he couldn’t place what. But, he thought with a shrug, they go to school together, and are roommates besides. They’ve got some catching up to do. Of course he’s going to be the odd one out. He didn’t think of it much after that. They’d had a library book to track down, after all.

* * *

It was a miracle that Tony got the number to Ness’s phone at all. Digging up the phoneline of Jeff’s only known relative wasn’t so bad with Maxwell’s help, but Dr. Andonuts’ voice on the other line was disinterested, distracted, and frankly, unhelpful. It all but crushed Tony’s spirit until the little inventor kid was put on the line.

“This is Apple Kid,” said Apple Kid. 

“Uh, hi. I’m Tony.” said Tony.

“I’m an inventor myself,” Apple Kid went on, through chubby cheeks and a mouthful of—something crunchy, cookies maybe. “I just got here and I’m working with Dr. Andonuts but I’ve made stuff for Ness and his friends before. What were you askin’ about?”

Tony had held his breath, his stomach fluttering, reignited. “Do you know how I could reach them?”

“Yeah!” Apple Kid said, and Tony could’ve exploded with the rush of hope. “Ness has a receiver phone, I call him all the time. Here, lemme give you the number.”

In a tizzy Tony grabbed a pad of paper and pencil and jotted down the list of numbers Apple Kid gave him, repeating them all back to make sure they were correct before replying with a sincerely enthused thank-you as Apple Kid hung up. Tony sat there for a while then, staring at the number, his head buzzing. The phone in his hand hummed a dial-tone.

His fingers shook as he punched in the numbers, one by one, trying to breathe past the knots in his stomach. Trying not to worry about the dozens of reasons why Jeff wouldn’t want to talk to him. Trying not to wonder if Jeff knows what he means to a boy like Tony. 

He wiped a sweaty palm off on his pant leg as he listened to the phone ring.

There was a click.

“Hello, Jeff?” he said, a little too loud, a little too eager. 

“Uhm—“ said the voice of someone he’d never met—the voice of the boy who would come to see him all alone back in Snow Wood—followed by a more distant, “It’s—for you, Jeff.”

There was an indistinct shuffle.

Then, finally, a familiar voice on the other line.

“Hello?”

“Oh, happy day.” he sighed, unraveling. He’d laughed, he was so—relieved, so—anxious. “Ugh, I finally got a hold of you! Jeff—hi, it’s me—Tony!”

Jeff didn’t respond in any of the thousand ways Tony had thought of, in the dozens of ways he’d played this scenario out in his mind, but he promises himself he’s not disappointed. This is still his friend, and things between them are the same as they’ve ever been. It’s Jeff Andonuts, after all. Same old Jeff.

The call wasn’t long, though it felt like it was. Tony told him about a school project he’d been working on, and warned his friend Ness—with precious, genuine urgency—not to put Jeff into any dangerous situations. (Ness laughed, a little nervous at that, but swore to it, all the same.) Tony did most of the talking, which he tried not to think about, but it’s a detail that kept him up later that night.

“Well,” he finally said, when it became clear Jeff wasn’t going to tell him much of anything about why he left or where he was going. He’d imagined just a phonecall was all he needed to ease his nerves but his pulse was still racing, his mind still swimming, his mouth dry and his voice cracking. “Talk to you later.”

“Okay,” was all Jeff said, and it was warm but reserved.

Tony breathed. Something in him was forcing its way out. “Why didn’t you call me” he wanted to say. “Why did you call Maxwell but never asked for me. Why were you going to leave without saying goodbye. Why won’t you talk to me.”

But he couldn’t say it. 

“Jeff,” he said instead, his voice hanging in the air. “I hope that I can see you again. When you’re feeling up to it.”

There was a pause.

“Sure, Tony.”

“I mean it. You got that?”

There was a smile in Jeff’s voice. “Yeah.”

A silence between them.

“Well,” Tony’s voice came through, trying to hide a little desperation. He eyes the clock, tangling the phone wire between his fingers. “I’ve been on the phone too long. So. Gotta go.”

“Sure,” was all Jeff said.

“Good luck.” Tony replied.

“Thanks.” Jeff said.

“And take care.”

“I will, Tony.”

“Uhm, so long.”

He heard Jeff laugh. “Alright, Tony.”

Tony sighs, dangling on the edge of goodbye. “Alright, I’m really gonna hang up.”

Jeff chuckles again. “Okay, Tony.”

“Goodbye.”

A definite, oddly crushing, “’Bye, Tony.”

He put the phone down with a click, and sat alone in Snow Wood Boarding School, staring. 

***

Ness hecked up. 

He did it. He read Tony’s letter. It started as a mild boyish curiosity and before he even realized what he was doing the envelope’s seal was ripped and the letter was in his hands and, well, suddenly everything about Jeff and Tony made a little more sense. 

This is like something Pokey would do, he thought to himself. “Don’t show this to anyone,” Pokey would read in a mocking falsetto, and snicker to himself. And if Ness had been there he would’ve let him do it, because he and Pokey are _friends,_ and _it’s funny, isn’t it,_ and _c’mon Ness,_ and. God, he’s such a. Stupid kid.

The boy adjusts his hat. Well. He doesn’t have to be like Pokey. Or, well. How Pokey was. Whoever Pokey was. He can screw the whole thing and own up to that. 

That’s what he thinks to himself, anyway. There’s still a big sick rock knotting him up inside when he reaches Saturn Valley. 

Jeff’s a good friend. He works hard all the time and he’s really smart and he and Ness like the same comic books. They’ve been to the world and beyond together and even if Jeff is a little strange, he’s still given them nothing but his best. Ness doesn’t think he’s a bad person. And he barely even knows this Tony kid at all. 

But that other boy seemed so sad when Ness visited him in Snow Wood. And now Ness doesn’t know what to say to either of them, about any of—this. He wishes he did. He wishes he knew what to say.

To be honest he wishes he was anywhere but here, anywhere but between these two kids playing messenger boy but he made a promise and even if he messed it up already, he still has to see it through.

He hands Jeff the envelope with the apology already spilling from him but the other boy doesn’t even seem upset. But, well. You can’t always tell, with Jeff.

Jeff said Tony had a heart of gold. Ness wasn’t sure what to say to that. Or even what that meant, really. You should tell him yourself, he thought. But that’s not what he said. 

“You should call him.” That’s what he did say, not loud but with the same firmness he’d had when he told his mom he was going to look at the meteor that fell. Back at the start of everything. The tone he gets when he knows something has to be done.

Jeff had sighed, and ran a hand through his hair as he stared down at the mess of gears and tools and heck-to-what-other machine parts sprawled in front of him. “I know.” he’d said, and that’s all that he’d said.

* * *

Snow fell outside Tony’s window. It glittered, silent and cold, reflecting the lamps of the boarding school grounds to light up the night in a quiet orange glow. Tony sat alone inside his and Jeff’s room (well, just his room now, until a new roommate got assigned). He lay still on his bed but his insides felt like they were twisted up and shaking. The words to his letter ran him around in circles—and what was it he had written, _what was it exactly,_ he’d gone over it so many times now that he couldn’t remember—dragging him up and down until he was exhausted just from lying there alone in the dim light of the desk lamp. 

He wanted to cry. He wanted to be sick. He wanted. Well.

Really, he just wanted Maxwell to come through the door and tell him there was a call waiting for him. 

He remembered, a couple years back, the crunching of snow beneath uniform dress shoes and the warmth of the body walking next to him. Jeff was laughing at something Tony had said. They were both laughing. Their peers had reached the age where the primary topics of interest were pretty girls and porno mags and Jeff, like Tony, plainly wasn’t interested. Beyond the stone wall surrounding Snow Wood, warmed by puffs of breath on the air, in the soft space between the two of them they each admitted that they didn’t get all the fuss, and some of the things the other boys had said were pretty stupid. And they laughed together.

And Tony thought, thank goodness I have Jeff. Thank goodness, at least Jeff is here.

Those were the same boys that sat playing games in the hall outside his dorm now. They were nice enough lads, most of them, they never bothered Tony or anything. In fact they all seemed to like him, they just. They wouldn’t. They couldn’t listen like Jeff. They couldn’t understand.

And then all at once there was a tapping on his door. Tony opened his eyes and swung back upright as he thought—Maxwell, maybe— _maybe, maybe Jeff, if he dared himself to think it_ —to come back for good, to at least to say _goodbye_ —but it wasn’t either one and he couldn’t help how it hurt him.

It wasn’t the other boy’s fault. Really. He was a sweet kid. He was the one who’d baked all those cookies for Tony’s birthday party, not too long ago. He had straw-blond hair and his pajama shirt said “I ❤ NYC.”

“Hey, Tony,” he said, his voice a delicate attempt at casual. “Me’n the lads were startin’ a game a’ Porter Runfold up and I thought, maybe you’d wanna join in.” The other boy paused then, for just a breath, and there was a gentleness to his tone that Tony hadn’t expected. “I know uh, Jeff’s not comin’ back. But it’s bit of a party out here so I thought, y’know.”

Tony quickly put on a smile despite himself, and sniffed. His eyes were still red and his head was starting to ache. “Thanks,” he said, and then lied, “I’m alright though. I think I’m just—going to stay in for the night.”

The other boy held his tongue, and nodded. “Alright then,” he said, grinning nervously. “Well, if you need us, you know where we live.”

Tony laughed, a brittle thing. “Yeah. Sure.”

The boy nodded, and after an awkward pause and a half-hearted wave, closed the door behind him. And Tony was alone again with his imaginary faults.

He stayed in that night. And the next. But the other boy kept offering to include him and he could only spend so many evenings dwelling in misery to the soundtrack of other people enjoying themselves. And so he joined in, just for a little while he’d said, but they didn’t care how long he was there so long as he was there. 

The boys welcomed him, like they always did, with more enthusiasm than he anticipated. They were happy to see him, like they were always happy to see him, and he’d somehow forgotten the comfort of their company in the stuffy darkness of his bedroom. If they had noticed his disheveled state the past few days, they had mind not to mention it. And they joked and jousted and the hours past curfew were filled with their laughter. 

He still hurt when he went to bed without the sound of mechanical tinkering coming from a corner of the room to fall asleep to. And when he woke to the pile of would-be scientific garbage still left untouched the next morning. And for weeks after that, and always right when he didn’t want to be thinking about Jeff, he was so _tired_ of thinking about Jeff.

But he was alright, after a while.

In a few month’s time he was spending his mornings walking with the other boy—Charlie, the one who’d made the birthday cookies—to class. Charlie was a good listener. They spent a lot of time together. And Tony spent a lot of time being Just Tony, which was not something he had done in a very long time.

* * *

The next year, on his birthday, Tony got a card in the mail. The address said it came from “Onett,” a town he’d never heard of, and the front had a funny dog wearing a party hat on it.

It was from that kid Ness. Tony couldn’t figure out why he had sent it. But he opened it all the same. There wasn’t much inside. “Happy birthday Tony!” was written in red marker. The card made Tony feel a little sad, in a way he wasn’t sure how to describe. But he smiled at it. And made note to write Jeff’s friend a thank-you. And then he put it down on his desk and left his room, to go out into the hall where his party was waiting for him.

And downstairs, in Maxwell’s lab, the phone continued not to ring for him.


End file.
